I have missed so much school, the sports carnival, I was looking forward to getting a few more blue ribbons, oh well, I hope I am able to get better in time to compete in the swim carnival, I love swimming, butterfly and backstroke the most, last carnival I let my best friend Erica beat me in the finals, her mother came up to us just before the race, she said she would kill her if she didn't beat me in backstroke, I got upset, so did Erica, we trained together, swimming side by side, we took home 1st & 2nd in that race, my parents were proud of me, I thought they may have been disappointed I let my friend win, no they said, we are disappointed in her mother.
I have had a lot of time to think, thinking I want to be a sports teacher, or a teacher, or maybe nurse... I don't have to decide yet. I love kids haha, my sister Shelle doesn't like them much, mum said it's different when they are your own, then your world orbits them.
Oh a few weeks ago I was allowed back home, Aston's Circus was at Parramatta Park and all the girls from 'Our Lady of Mercy' were going, Sister Edith got Erica and I front seats, it was fun, it looks glamorous, but I could see all the runs and ladders in the trapeze artists sparkly tights, sweat on the lion-tamers face cracks in the clowns makeup, Shelle said you couldn't see it from further back.
This week hasn't been my best, I've been so tired, but tonight I feel better, I was really angry and scared yesterday because Father Scott gave me 'last rites' I told him I didn't need them, but he said it was to give me strength, so guess that's ok...
My nails are so long now, I used to bite them, they were awful, but Diane one of the nurses always paints them, 'frosted amber' at the moment, I love my new nails, and my hair is now growing back, everyone thinks it suits me, I like it, it is thick and has a curl.
Hey did I say? My oldest sister has a boyfriend, us other siblings liked to sneak down & spy on them kissing in the TV room after we were supposed to have gone to bed... I'm 15 years old now, never been kissed... Shelle says a girl at school said you can practice kissing with an orange, I want to learn piano when I go back to school, but not with cranky old Sister Pascal, she hit me across the knuckles when I missed a note, I packed up my music book & put down the piano lid after that lesson, she said she didn't believe I never got hit at home & I told her none of my family hits anyone & left the room.
I miss the pranks we got up to back home, squirting doorbells, invisible ink, the funny woopee cushion slipped under a pillow waiting for a guest to sit on & seeing them go bright red when it farted... and the pretend competition dancing nights... 1, 2 chachacha...
Tonight I was hungry, and all the family were here, even dad, he got out from hospital last week, the guys walked to the shop and bought take-away hot chips, I only had 3 or 4, dad has been home with my sisters and brother, helping Grandma look after the house and kids, he said apparently she nearly killed everyone the other night, she got the cayenne pepper and chicken stock mixed up when she was cooking the mince hahaha, everyone laughs and hugs each other, we are family. My other little brother is here in hospital with me, we are in the same room, he is so small, and white... He got sick the same time as me, he doesn't sleep in his bed though, the doctors bought in an old lounge chair, mum sits all night, and my little brother sleeps on her, it is good my mum stays with us, during the day she goes visits my dad when he is in hospital, but now he is discharged she stays with us, and everyone comes here to visit, it is late, the family have just left, I so want us to go home with them, I told mum tomorrow I will sit in the sun, outside our hospital room, and when I am stronger, and my brother is ok, we will all go home.
Witches in Fiction 2015 'Death Rites and Remembrances' is hosted by my friend Magaly Guerrero and her celebration of those we honour through stories, art & memories is why I wanted to share a small part of my sister Bernice's life. She died that night, and to this day, I swear she was in the car and travelled home with us, her presence so strong, I was 17 and pulled over the car over because I knew someone was in the back seat, we did not find out until the phone rang when we walked in the door back home that she had died just after we left.