Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Fiction & Fun, Magic & Mayhem... & Prizes to be won :)

Welcome my friends, leave your broomsticks at the door, I've already swept ;) but go on, sit down in a comfy chair, I'll fetch you a bubbly potion... yes it is champers, I finished the last of the pineapple juice otherwise I could have made you a zombie... Now... Did I tell you I was at the sales the other day? Well... actually, I'll leave the telling of it up to my other guest... 






WITCH V BITCH 


– A TITANIC CLASH OF CULTURES AT A HANDBAG SALES TABLE

Witch sees bag. Bitch sees bag.

Bitch sees witch see bag. Witch sees bitch see witch see bag.

Witch and bitch grab bag.

“I saw it first!” insists the bitch with a twist. A grimace, trying hard to find its way to the surface, is eventually choked off in the limbo where botox stops and ella bache kicks in.

But the witch holds firm, it was Mimco after all and 75% off, almost a steal. Although it wasn’t really appropriate use of her centuries old arcane power, she was already working on her spell. Drawing in her mind a clockwise flaming pentangle between the bitch and the bag – this was usually sufficient to secure parking spaces, stop dogs growling, keep the seats either side empty at the cinema.

The bitch just set her jaw. “Do you mind?”

The witch, still holding, twitched. Was the bitch actually aware she had tried to mess with her mind, or was this still Mimco related?

“Indeed I do,” said the witch evenly.

The bitch glared at the witch. An entirely appropriate use of her hard acquired powers, she had used the death stare often – to secure parking spaces, silence dogs and ensure elbow room in cinemas.

Wasn’t working on Mimco tho.

Accepting the glare, with a thoughtful stare, the witch had stepped it up. Her spare hand reached out and stroked the ouroboros talisman she wore around her neck – used by Gnostic mystics to unite the chthonian earth energies with the celestial spirit, the cyclic feedback formed by the snake swallowing its own tail allowed the talisman to store vast amounts of spiritual energy. Three strokes, each with a different finger (pointer last), clockwise (“ouroboros awaken”), anticlockwise (“ouroboros feed”), clockwise (“ouroboros release”) and out with a flick in the direction of the bitch.

The bitch blinked – or was it a wink – but did not release in the least. If anything she tightened her grip on the Mimco.

She too was stepping up. If Billy Blanks had taught her anything, it was that glutes were the powerhouse of the body. You set your feet, shoulder width apart, clench and wrench and anything you want, will be yours – not magic exactly, more the raw power of positivity and relentless self belief.

The witch, using magic actually, saw it coming. She had the bitch outweighed and called Mars down into her, grounding herself to the very core of the planet. The bitch could have all the pilates toning in the city, but it was like shifting a tectonic plate.

The bitch recovered quickly, her strong and supple core, quickly compensated for the momentary shift in her axis and brought her back to focus before the witch could make her own play on the bag.

“I’ve got all day,” sneered the bitch.

“I have many lifetimes,” replied the witch.

Witch took in the bitch, bitch looked down on the witch.

“Poor woman,” they both thought, “I wonder where it all started to go wrong for her.”

“This item,” said the witch, “No matter how potentially powerful it may become, is simply not worth it… I will let you have it on one condition.”

“Hah!”

“I require a lock of your hair.”

“You think the scary old goth queen scares me? You think you’re gonna cast a spell on someone like me? You gotta deal sister, now let go of my Mimco.”

The witch knew it was a wig – there was little of the bitch that had not been altered, augmented or affected. Clearly the powers of witchcraft made no impact on such bitchcraft – bit of an eye opener really, but then again… Her powers relied on self reflection not reflection of self.

What she was really interested in was the Mimco – she worked a fibre loose and got a tight grip as the bitch whipped her trophy out of her grasp. It came away in her fingers and disappeared into a pocket.

No, she could not curse the soulless any more than she could hex the brainless. But the bag, now that was another story – that purse, those car keys might be going in, but there wasn’t anything coming out of that bag. Not ever.

Did that make her a bad witch? Nah. A bit grey maybe, but who wasn’t these days? She accepted the lock with what she hoped was a mock evil sneer.

The bitch answered back with a self satisfied leer.

Witch watches bag go. Bitch watches witch go.

Bitch smiles.

Witch smiles.


Well...There you have the story... finished your bubbly? I guess you have to be on your way to visit the other party guests, but before you go, let me know what you think of the tale written by my favourite soul surfer Fraser Wilson, I have 3 special prizes in my 'grab bag' so please leave a few words at each blog entry I post over the celebration & abracadabra a prize could be yours... Everyone leaving precious feedback goes in the draw... Here's my first door prize to help Magaly celebrate her 'Witches in Fiction' Blog Party...







This little witch is a SunshineShelle (that's me) original 4 x 6 inches (10 x 15 cms) in acrylics gesso & pastels on a piece of recycled board ;) 
Remember, come on back, I'll be cooking up something special in the cauldron for next time...

30 comments:

Deborah said...

Oh Shelle that was such an entertaining story...it was delightful! I love your witch painting and would love an opportunity to win it!

1,001 Blessings...Deborah

Sunshineshelle said...

Thanks for calling by Deborah, consider your name in the draw :) I'm so pleased you enjoyed this tale by Fraser, totally wicked (in a good way) ;)

jenny said...

Well Shelle, you had me enthralled... fabulous... and I just love your painting... especially the eyes... what an entertaining read...

Hugs
Jenny x

Sunshineshelle said...

Thanks Jenny, I'm pleased you like the painting & thrilled Fraser's story hit the spot too ;)

Magaly Guerrero said...

Oh my gods, Shelle! You have me in tears and I just woke up my Piano Man with my laughter. "Bitchraft"! I might have to steal that word. Who is Fraser? I need more! I can't wait to post my review/snippet of this goodie (and the prize info!) in tomorrow's digest of today.

I need another bubbly and a zombie to celebrate the laughter!

*Runs to the mirror to practice death stare and butt clenching to use the magic toward winning the little witch painting!"

Sunshineshelle said...

Totally tickled you like it Magaly ;) Fraser or 'the Big F' as I affectionately call him is my husband, soulmate, driftwood sculptor, surfer, father of my babes & oh yeah writer of the above ;) I fell in love with his words (& maybe one or two other things) a lifetime ago... I asked him to write something to help celebrate 'Witches in Fiction' (short brief) & posted the result :0) cracked me up ;) Magaly, a witch with magic on her side AND butt clenching power... I'm pleased I'm not going up against you in the door prize!!!

Magaly Guerrero said...

You tell the hubby that his words are enchantingly funny! I would love to read more (Um... does hubby have a website too?)

And how funny, I also fell for my Piano Man because of his words (and a few other things). He told me a story and I was a gonner!

Misty Boston said...

haha! VERY entertaining and totally cute!!! :D
and I like your witch but me thinks she is trying to put me under a trance with her glaring stare (count me in your giveaway please) :)

New End Studio said...

I could just see the tug of war over that bag! Fun to read. Your little witch has dazzlement in her eyes- wonderful.

angelself said...

This is the best story I have read in a very long time. I LOVED it!! and love, love, love your little witch painting. Please add me to the draw. Magaly, I have a few witchy tricks of my own, lol! ;) Kathryn

Doone said...

Brilliant use of prose very very good,

and the portrait is adorable,

Dx

Craftymoose Crafts said...

Great story Shelle (Fraser!). It was fun and so entertaining! Your witch painting is adorable!

Mina said...

That was fabulously entertaining! I laughed out loud. Love your portrait. It is adorable! Please count me in for your door prize.

yoborobo said...

Shelle! What a story! LOL! And your little witch is so cute (and witchy!). Thanks for stopping by for a visit! xo Pam

Sunshineshelle said...

Magaly... aren't stories magic, make you laugh... or fall in love ;) The Big F hasn't got a website :( but has written many stories & a novel all for an audience of none... I love his writing, sometimes dark other times achingly funny... Each year he writes me a Valentine's Story... he slaps it down on a titled DVD, memory stick or in printed form anywhere between V day & 8 or 9 months later, but in total I think there's been c.18 stories... I think they are all gems... Fraser has based his book/unfinished (un-edited) books on, cases of a (flawed) Public Detective set in a not too distant future... I (totally) love them/him (the detective... & Fraser most the time), major hoot...
I passed on your comment & he said no worries, you can steal 'Bitchcraft' & use freely... it's a skill not many recognise ;)

Sunshineshelle said...

Oh, when I say Fraser hasn't a website... I meant for writing, he has a a slightly neglected Etsy shop http://www.etsy.com/shop/cargoboy

Sunshineshelle said...

Misty so pleased you called by for a little entertainment LOL... By the way I called in at your blog too, everyone that hasn't visited should get on over & enter Misty's WIF Celebration giveaway... http://mistyboston.blogspot.com/ It's great we can relax & take our time with this party, NewEndStudio, I'm pleased you could see the visuals as you read, felt no need to illustrate that, I think the images the words conjured up while reading were better than anything I could do LOL!
Kathryn, best story in a long long time, ahh I must tell Fraser that ;) I keep telling him it's better stuff than my bookclub gets to read LOL!!
Doone, thanks so much for your kind words & you my dear are in the Witches Hat with the other names too!

Sunshineshelle said...

Debbie, so thrilled you dropped by for some fun, thanks & you're in the hat!!! Lucky I didn't put your name in the 'bag' ;) it would never come out!
Pam, pleased to catch up so happy you like the story, I reckon it's a hoot too ;) thanks for dropping by & pleased you like my more innocent (well she's still young LOL) little witch... Mina you too are in, nothing like a spreading a little joy and always cool to see a new take on an age old human struggle LOL even if it is over a handbag ;)

Magic Love Crow said...

OMG Shelle!!!! Tell Big F he is fantastic!! I loved this story! I was laughing my head off! And, I had a zombie too! LOL! He writes you stories on Valentines's Day! Excellent! I am so jealous!!! I really loved the story! I read it twice! And, of course I would love to win this painting!! You know how much I love your art!! Hugs My Friend ;o)

Magic Love Crow said...

I forgot!! I love how you changed your blog for the party!! Wicked!!!

Cardarian said...

Huh! Great story! Loved the ending!Fun, fun, fun!
Thank you for sharing!
Hugs,
Cardarian
P.S.:
Abra cadabra when you do the draw the door prize comes to me abra cadabra........:-)

Sunshineshelle said...

Hey Stacy, yep the little romantic has only bought me flowers twice in the last 20 years (birth of Memphis & Trinity) but the V Day stories, every year.. actually still waiting on this years, I'll whack his muse over the head & tell him to get a hurry on ;) & Cardarian great to meet you & thanks for calling in, I'm heading over to visit you but want to say both you & Stacy have been added to the hat & thanks for taking the time to read & comment :)

Darcy said...

totally enthralled, had me hooked with every word. love it!!!

Sunshineshelle said...

Thanks Darcy! I'll let my Fraser know he'll be stoked with the feedback!! And I'll put your name in the witches hat for the draw ;) so pleased you dropped on by :)

Magaly Guerrero said...

Well, you tell the hubby that I would love to read some of his shorts. And I would be so honor to have him as a guest for Pagan Culture in 113 Words or Less; you know how I love my dark writing.

Oh, tell your lover's lover that she has a prize waiting for her at Pagan Culture ;-D

http://pagan-culture.blogspot.com/2011/04/witches-in-fiction-winner-and-4th.html

Ravyne said...

Loved it - thanks to Magaly for turning me onto your blog and others. The story is awesome and I would be honored to be added to the draw. Thank you very much and kudos to Fraser! <);)

artistamyjo said...

Oh just loved this,thanks for a chance to win. Hugs, Amy

Sunshineshelle said...

Thanks Ravyne, pleased to meet you & yes Magaly is to be congratulated on her social magic ;) I am passing on kudos to Frayz he's chuffed that so many readers responded so thank you :) Amy thanks for calling on over to enter & my dears both names are in the hat for the prize... Good Luck!!!

Wilma said...

This story should be dramatised - can visulaise it being acted out... Have a magical day.

Sunshineshelle said...

Wilma, must admit it is a totally visual story, I can picture the tug-a-war and faces of the other shoppers around not game to get involved, like watching a live wrestling match LOL!! Good Luck with the draw, your names in the hat!!!